Hi PLC, yes my H was also away a lot or working crazy hours so my neighbours barely noticed him gone until recently. It's kind of a pattern on here that spouses who are absent a lot eventually become emotionally absent, especially Hs I feel. I look back now at the couple of years before BD and wonder whether my H was actually working all those hours or whether he was busy having an A or multiple As as well. Nothing would surprise me after some of the sitches I read on here. I do think it is easier for a spouse to return to the M if fewer people know about it, which is one reason I have not broadcast my sitch beyond a trusted few. Now, it's more embarrassment and not wanting to be quizzed about it. I can imagine telling my family several years post D smile