That's great considering it's early in the process. My guess is you're still on the roller coaster and that will change.
You are probably right. I do expect some tougher days ahead. But, I have more peace than I have had in awhile. I really focusing on no expectations what ever he does.
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Originally Posted by KitCat
He doesn't smile the entire time he is with me. Eye contact was only at the end - and he voluntarily opened up a little about his house. I only asked a basic question during that part of the conversation. It was first visit where I wasn't the one wrapping things up - I let him sit and hem haw until he said he was going to take off.
If he was smiling, tapping his toes and dancing you would ask how he could be so happy moving out.
That's a very valid point!
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Originally Posted by KitCat
Who knows what he is thinking but he clearly has no attraction for me.
Mindreading
True - but I believe that you and others have told me that right now he is disgusted by me. That's how his interactions made me feel.
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Originally Posted by KitCat
1) Yesterday he mentioned that his truck needed suspension work - est $1400 but the guy said he would do it for $1000 as they needed the work. I asked H if was going to have it done. He simply said he didn't have 1K. He could have gone off about the financial order and how I have his money tied up, etc. He didn't. He did not attack me over it.
Grasping at straws
Oh, I agree - that means absolutely nothing in our sitch. It was just a relief to me that he didn't attack me over it. But I supposed saying some of the things he has said over the phone would be much harder for him to say to me in person? It doesn't really matter. Its just something that contributed to the peace in my heart.
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Originally Posted by KitCat
2) On the phone on Tuesday we were talking about something not related to us. At one point we started talking over each other. I immediately stopped and said he should go ahead... he then stated no you go ahead. In the past if we were both talking he would get frustrated, tell me to shut up, tell me to stop talking.. I was probably guilty of doing the same. We both just wanted to be heard --- it was a terrible habit to fall into. It felt nice that we both stopped and neither of us got rude with the other.
Sounds like a very toxic relationship and something to work on.
^^^^ This. He felt that our relationship had become toxic. Bickering just became away of how we got things done. I'm a strong opinionated woman. I should have backed down more. I see that. He got to a point where he didn't want to tell me no... and I got to a point where I wanted him to tell me no.
This is what i have been working on. Among a few other things. In both of our phone calls last week. I either stopped what I was doing to recognize his input OR I recognized that he didn't want to continue to talk at this time and let it go... the latter... let it go... He would get angry that I just couldn't drop something. I showed respect by ending the call and not pushing.
I know it takes 5 positives to outweigh any negatives...
Maybe he sees it???
Anyway, I guess I'm accepting things a little better. Letting go... of expectations... letting go of him.
