It's this weird flip side of illusion of action the WS/WAS kind. With the exception of a handful on here it seems super common that these WAS want to D but don't really want to. They weirdly pick and choose steps, and when presented with the next logical step by the LBS they seem aghast. Moving toward this S/D that they want so badly at a glacial pace seems really common too and I don't get that. Even my H, when he was insistent on moving out in April, had to be April, and I said ok so when are we filing then deer in the head lights. Every time he brought up moving out and I'd bring up filing. Same reaction.
As far as this being too heavy to carry alone. Don't. I know the rules of DBing say don't talk about it. Well al-anon rules say find a good support system. I think you need to walk the line here with what's best for you. If you need to unload on friends and family so you can stay whole, healthy and reasonably happy for the kiddos you go ahead and you do that. Self care is the oxygen mask theory as I like to call it. You can't take care of every one else if you aren't taking care of you. Gotta put that oxygen mask on yourself before you help others. Saddling yourself with your hurt, anger, confusion, and any other feelings you have about this isn't taking care of Wooba. What you are dealing with here isn't some clandestine affair. Practically abandoning his children in the middle of his emotional crisis and definitely abandoning your MR is not something he can keep quiet and quietly slink back into your old life with minimal shame. You're dealing with and addict who is very likely in MLC. You need people.
