He doesn't smile the entire time he is with me. Eye contact was only at the end - and he voluntarily opened up a little about his house. I only asked a basic question during that part of the conversation. It was first visit where I wasn't the one wrapping things up - I let him sit and hem haw until he said he was going to take off.
Who knows what he is thinking but he clearly has no attraction for me.
I will say there were 2 positives in the last week - these are more about peace in my heart and not that he is moving towards me.
1) Yesterday he mentioned that his truck needed suspension work - est $1400 but the guy said he would do it for $1000 as they needed the work. I asked H if was going to have it done. He simply said he didn't have 1K. He could have gone off about the financial order and how I have his money tied up, etc. He didn't. He did not attack me over it.
2) On the phone on Tuesday we were talking about something not related to us. At one point we started talking over each other. I immediately stopped and said he should go ahead... he then stated no you go ahead. In the past if we were both talking he would get frustrated, tell me to shut up, tell me to stop talking.. I was probably guilty of doing the same. We both just wanted to be heard --- it was a terrible habit to fall into. It felt nice that we both stopped and neither of us got rude with the other.
Again - these are just things that bring peace to my heart. They mean nothing in regards to my H having any second thoughts. Part of me would like to tell him I appreciate how we have been talking --- but I'm sure everyone here would advise me not to bring it up.
I'm 10% disappointed and 10% sad - and those hit worse in the morning.
I get that I have to let him go before he would ever come back... I'm about 80% there.
