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Help!

Well, this week will be one year since my H said he didn’t want to be married anymore.

What a year it has been. I have found so much out about me in this time, one most importantly, is that I am patient.

I wonder what he thinks, if he realizes it has been a year. In my mind, nothing much has changed for him. I am sure that when he uttered those words he thought he would be in a different place now, instead of living in our daughters room, with a failed engagement and a “roommate” who is getting her own life and doing her own thing.

The pandemic of course has changed everyone’s plans. After a bit of a hiccup last month, I have resolved to treat me with kid gloves. I have been baking, (sharing or freezing extras) watching shows I want to see and I got back into reading. My H and I both are still working, albeit not a ton of hours, but we do leave the house daily. H has shared some meals with D and I either ordering takeout or bring some home. He won’t eat with us, but he acknowledges we might want food. We are in a great climate, and he seems to have begun walking with some friends “socially distant”.

When the BD happened, I was naive to hope that this week we would be redoing our vows and and having a vacation. I have learned it is ok to dream, but we are far from that as a quick resolution.

My H and I have not had any relationship conversations, sometimes I want to ask what his plans are, but why? I am standing in my truth and truly want to stay married to this man. I feel if I ask, he is not ready, so why push him. Our families and friends aren’t even aware of this (Christmas he was “normal” and we had a celebration for birthdays nd he traveled in the same car within me to the restaurant and faked it) his friends might know, but I don’t ask.

I guess, this post is for me to mark this moment in time for me even with all of my jumbled thoughts and to thank this community. I may not post a bunch, but when I have, you all have reached out to suggest and to help me. Let’s hope for a healthy upcoming year for all of us.
Keep the faith.

PLC

Last edited by job; 05/04/20 11:59 AM. Reason: added link to previous thread