Thanks for all the sweet things you said. I appreciate it, and it encourages me.
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When it comes to staying mysterious and not answering questions. What do you think are some good alternative answer??
I got a little tickled when I read this. The point I was trying to make in my previous post, is that you can be a little mysterious just by not being so free or eager to express your thoughts to her, and by not implying you have time if she wants to talk.
If she says something, don't be quick to jump in there to direct her. Just be cool, relaxed, and let her wait to see if you are going to guide the conversation, as you usually do. To me, it seemed pretty obvious what you were trying to get her to talk about. It was like watching a scene, and you were the director.
I think I said something previously how some WW's will try to fish out how the H feels, first. If the H can give an answer without getting too wordy.....or linking it with their situation, then the better chances of her saying more. For example, looking back on the conversation with her in the car.
W - Thank you! How are you? (She was close to crying) Me - Mostly good but it's up and down. Kills me that kids are feeling it. Silence. Me - Do you have something you want to say?[/i
It would have been better if your response had been limited to "Mostly good". By continuing, your implications jumped right to the sitch, and the part about the kids......sounded as if you were trying to lay guilt as her feet.
After you said it kills you about the kids, silence fell. Then you proceeded to prompt her. Next time, don't ask leading questions. Be comfortable with the silence, or at least, try to play the part of being comfortable.
[i]Me - Do you have something you want to say? W - No. Or we'll. A lot... Me - I have a few minutes.
LOL, did you cut her off to tell her you had a few minutes? (You're beginning to remind me of myself.)
W - I guess life isnt as black and white as I thought. Me - No life is mostly in the grey area. (Smiling. She laughed a bit.) Silence. Me - Either you get out of the car or we go sit down somewhere.
Well, no pressure there!
Is she normally very quiet, and you normally take over the conversation? This sounds like a version of the conversations in my own house........only it's my H who is the quiet one, and I have to put duct tape across my mouth to keep me from jumping in too quickly with too many words.
Silence W - What are you thinking about? Me - I can listen but will have a hard time talking when you have that bag next to you. (her "luggage" for living at OM's place) W - Mmm.. Slience W - I guess I will go. Me - Ok.
When she asked what were you thinking about, I think you could have just looked through the window, as if you were thinking about something way off.......but don't say anything. Let there be silence. Don't look angry or upset.
You definitely weren't cool with your response. Instead of trying to pressure her, it would have been much better to have appeared calm, cool, & collected. After a couple of minutes of silence and she doesn't say anything.......I would have said something like, "I need to be going"......or however you would usually indicate leaving.
Now, these are not examples of cool answers..... like Fonzie's cool dialect (if you know the Fonz.) My point in this particular dialog is that you keep a "cool" presence, but not a cold shoulder type of coldness. Do you know the difference, or understand what I mean? It's a balance of keeping your eagerness under wraps, and appearing calm and maybe a tad distant.......(b/c the woman is living with her lover 50% of the time, and living at home the rest of the time.) If she wants to know what you are thinking or how you are feeling.......she's going to have to WORK to find out. Don't try to assist her along in the dialog. Don't press her. Don't ask her leading questions. Sit there with your sunglasses on and looking like your favorite celebrity. (jk)
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Apart from lying. Usually I am bad at lying if I haven't prepared.
Oh no, don't lie to her. I can talk about other ways to be mysterious, in another post. Getting a personal life that doesn't include your WW is the best way to be mysterious. That is, if you put duct tape over your mouth and not blab all the details to her. Details for a woman is answering all the "W" questions...... who, what, where, & when. She especially wants to know the "who". More about that in a later post.
Update: This week got a bit strange. At least practically.
On Wednesday W was supposed to pick up the kids have them for two days (at home). In the morning W wrote and said she was feeling slow, had coughed and probably had fever. Eventually I suggested that she should come home because I had made plans for the weekend to celebrate D2's birthday. She agreed it was the best. So I have been alone with the kids all week and haven't seen W since Monday morning. Also, I said if she has been feeling well for a few days she is still welcome on Sunday to celebrate. We had a bit more contact than usual to settle all this and I also asked her the day after how she was feeling.
Okay, I guess you need to spell it out for me. Why does this appear more strange than anything else in your marital sitch?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I got a little tickled when I read this. The point I was trying to make in my previous post, is that you can be a little mysterious just by not being so free or eager to express your thoughts to her, and by not implying you have time if she wants to talk. 
relaxed, and let her 
(jk)