Thx dnj for the reminders...especially that I’ve made good choices, all that I have done and that doing nothing is doing something. This last one can get me revved up a little. I think people like to see and feel progress. Between H and this pandemic it’s an awful feeling of waiting. Not being able to get out and enjoy time with friends and family away from the house is def hard. And then of course having H here as a constant reminder of the MLC situation is not easy either.
I’m allowing my emotions to toy with me again. At BD, H said he’s done with being roommates and propelled us directly into that reality. I feel like my detached, GAL, minimal contact and convo is reinforcing his opinion...yet I understand that this is his journey and he is entitled to feel and think however he wishes. Despite the partial truth to his statement, we had so much more than that. I get frustrated with myself for taking on this burden and blame from the hurtful words he’s spewed and some of the actions he’s taken. Leaving him alone seems so counterproductive but interfering in anyway seems destructive and pointless right now. On that note, he has a bday coming up soon. I know Cardinal just went through this ~ anybody have advice? What do other DBers do?...acknowledge just with words, ignore because we’ve been fired, Write a card? I feel like it doesn’t matter what I do he will judge it however he wishes. Feels like another d&*#- if you do, d$&# if you don’t situation.
