I feel envious of anyone going out and getting any form of face to face contact, TBH, though I hope you are safe, KitCat. The most social contact I have right now is nodding hello to someone on the street when I go out running. It's horrible, I am a sociable person and I do not do well with zero in person contact! I had a lovely life before lockdown, but am struggling right now.
Since last weekend H has been even more distant than usual (yeah, how is that possible?) I've texted him a few silly things and there has been crickets in return. Oh well. I wanted to lighten the mood before I take the kids there tomorrow but we shall see. I'm contemplating not taking them at all.
I went to pay some bills just now and noticed that H has taken out cash for the last 2 weeks. Quite a lot, over £1000 in 9 days. We discussed last time we met how neither of us are using any cash right now due to the virus and using contactless payment (plus nowhere to spend money). So where is this cash going? I then went back and in March again he took out a lot of cash. Like £1500 of cash, half of that before lockdown started. I suspect if I search back then I will see similar in other months. I have squirreled away £2000 of cash thinking that I will need to open a bank account for myself and pay lawyer fees at some stage, but that took me over 6 months so that it wasn't obvious. I know he has another bank account that he opened a year ago that he doesn't realise I know about, I'm assuming he has been depositing cash in there, which would mean a significant amount over a year if this has been his pattern. He must think I'm stupid, this is all from our joint account. He must be stupid, he has such a senior position I'm sure he could get his bonuses paid into another account easily. I wonder if he has. I wonder if there is any way to find out. I think I need to find a lawyer, I already have someone in mind. Probably not optimum timing given he might be losing his job, so I need to be careful in case he gets a big payout and hides it from me. I never thought that my H would behave so dishonourably. But given he's probably had an affair (multiple ones?) it should be no surprise. Who knows what he has been up to all these years.
So yeah, I think I might be feeling under the weather tomorrow instead of visiting. Not sure I'm good enough of an actress to hide my distaste for this.
