Limbo over, now separated but in lockdown (part 3)

[Pommy99]

Well I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks because there hasn’t really been any change or progress (and it’s painful sometimes to read the posts on here). I’m pleased to say I haven’t initiated any conversations about the M or asked how he is feeling etc. I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job of dropping the rope.

H never did reply to my text but he did show up a couple of days later with a bottle of wine when he dropped off the kids. A couple of days later was D14 birthday and he came over for dinner and stayed the evening. We played cards and watched a movie. It was the perfect happy family. Then at 10pm he disappeared. The following day I cried all day. That evening and the next 3 evenings he came to the house to pick up/drop off the kids and I made sure I was out doing my daily exercise each time. I did see him at the weekend, he came to drop off the kids and I was sitting in the garden and he came and sat down for a chat. Just chit chat about work etc, nothing personal.

I then didn’t see or speak to him from Saturday to Thursday. It killed me, it really did, but it was really my actions, e.g when I went to his with the kids I’d just drive off without getting out of the car. I spent weds and thurs crying my eyes out. On thurs he dropped the kids off and came to the door because he thought he’d say hi. He came in, he told me he liked my shoes, said he’d forgotten I had those, he commented how lovely our house is compared to his horrible rental, he put his hand on my leg when he got up to go, and then engaged me in even more conversation on the doorstep, saying I looked good. Ugh. All the things I want to hear but don’t want to hear. Yesterday he resumed sending me funny texts which I replied to about 3hrs later. Then last night he asked me if I wanted to take my car to his house so he could clean it. I politely declined and said I had plans with the kids and so he asked if I wanted him to come to my house and he could do it there. I didn’t reply to the text. He then called D16 and asked her to ask me if I wanted him to come over and clean my car. We haven’t replied. I don’t know what the right response is. Of course I want him to come over to OUR home and pretend we are a family of 4 for the afternoon. But when we do that, and he leaves, it takes me days to recover from the heartache.

I am so confused by him. I have been reading up more on MLC and I am convinced he is having one. So my question is, should my behaviours be any different? Should I continue to drop the rope? A lot of what I read about MLC says that H tend to come and go, and you should just be a supportive W. Should I let him come and go? Even if it’s bad for me? Or is that just letting him have his cake and eat it? He’s been gone 7 weeks now but seems to need to constantly reach out to me.