Congratulation to son on turning 21. That’s a big year!
My math shows him 13 drinks short. Lol.
Nice to see all the friends and families having an awaiting beverage for him. It sounded like a really good time.
The dance from a wedding 25 years ago. Yeah, strange.
MLCers are reliving some past trauma. They get emotional transported back to that time, more or less. Your W is remembering all kinds of things from back them, like they were yesterday.
My XW recalled my old car from over 30 years ago. Described it to my kids like she was looking at it. Of course it did have black and white zebra striped upholstery and steering wheel cover. Oh, the 80’s were a fun time! Roaring around with A-ha’s Take on Me blaring out the speakers.
Thing to remember is MLCers entered the tunnel before BD, usually 18-24 months before. They slowly and inexorably progress towards BD and replay. Along this slow decline they show signs of confusion, emotional immaturity, trouble coping, etc. This is usually such a slow change in behaviour the LBS doesn’t see it.
This is pretty reasonable since most of us had no experience with MLC until BD. We had no idea what we would have been looking for, if we were even looking.
My XW had some “crazy” conversation and behaviours pre-bomb drop. I, completely unawares, just thought she was mixed up or over tired or something. We, future LBS’s, rationalize it.
Now present day, me, my Mom, Dad, kids, and friends all have various stories of XW when looking back. It is amazing that we didn’t see it before. Kind of wild that such a thing is so unknowingly overlooked. Nowadays I see emotional problems in people like they have a glowing red neon sign. Living through this does open one’s eye pretty wide.
Your W is remembering and reliving all kinds of past experiences. The wedding dance and not dance is just one of many. These will be a mix of remembered fondly and used as blame. It’s weird. It’s confusing.
Originally Posted by Taz
She has brought this up to some of her friends lately to justify why she left. They are as confused as I am about her bringing it up now.
Yep. Bring it up 25 years later.
Trust me, she is just as confused as you are for why she is bring it up. She doesn’t know or understand why her past is surfacing.
My XW thought she was going crazy. Those were her words. She though she was losing her mind. Turns out she kind of did.
These MLCer have troubled pasts and unreconciled emotional trauma(s). And emotions that are buried alive will come back to haunt.
Hang in there.
You got this.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Oh, the 80’s were a fun time! Roaring around with A-ha’s Take on Me blaring out the speakers.
