A little lost - possible MFC wife

[DnJ]

Hello T

Nice to see you got a kitten. And a grey one even.

Why did she say we made an another 15 year commitment? Because she felt it at that moment.

Her journey is a confusing emotional ride.

The last R talk we had, she had said again she wants to separate, but I haven't brought anything up since because I'm following the DB steps. I'm not going to bring anything up until our next counseling session, because that is what we had agreed to, only talk relationship stuff in the MC session which is next Thursday

Good. Stick to the agreed plan. Following the agreement will help build trust and respect.

I really hope that me doing the DB steps are working. I'm giving her space, asking about work and other things, but nothing about our relationship or future. No more "I love yous" or notes. We've split up some of the house chores, I was doing it all for the past two months trying to relive her stress. It made her feel smothered so we split up the chores.

The DB steps are your best chance at turning this around. Those little, and too few, moments of her “seeing” clearly do accumulate. Especially if not drown out by pressure. Space and time for her to sort out her issues (while not blaming you) is good stuff.

Keep giving her space. And yes keep the “I love you” and the notes absent for longer.

Splitting up the chores is a good thing. It’s very good to see that she shared she felt smothered and that you both found a solution to that.

Good for you reconnecting with old band mates. Recording some music is a good activity - reconnecting with friends, reconnecting with your inner musician. What kind of music? Rock, country, classical...? Lol. Not too many classical bands out there. Those highfalutin folks are an orchestra. Haha.

Do sing or play an instrument or both?

Yep, make yourself a person only a fool would leave.

You got this.

And, there is always hope!

No one gets to take away your hope.

DnJ