Well, I am finding myself circling the drain of jumping into detachment. H wants group session with Therapist next week to go over finances and time table moving forward. I’m going to ask him one more time if he is sure this is what he wants (I know! I hear you all telling me don’t do it! But I have to hear it from him face to face and I’m willing to withstand the pain of hearing him say he is sure. I need to hear it to move forward. I’m already assuming what his answer will be and preparing myself for it, getting ahead of it if you will.)
I need to give him one more chance to and maybe it’s actually for my heart rather than his. After this last time when he says no then I feel like I will have peace in moving forward.
(I fully realize I could be on here a few days later saying the exact opposite hahah) But I’ve been sitting and waiting for him to change his mind and I’ve been stuck in limbo and I had nothing but sad negative thoughts about moving forward. I started to think about my plans moving forward and I actually feel hopeful about it and those plans don’t involve him.
So, I think acceptance and detachment is around the corner for me. I have one more hurdle to jump to get there. I think I need to feel the pain of that rejection one more time to move forward.
Human emotions are so strange. My logical side fights against my emotional side all the time.
