You have stated many times that your ex lived well beyond his means. It is better it is happening now so you can regain control of your financial house. Having only 300 left/month and living within your (modest) means is (way) better than living high off the hog when that is not sustainable nor real. It’s what LH says about adjusting to your reality because the truth is your high standard of living was a total facade.
Yes my high standard of living was a facade but I blame myself for letting him talk me into it. Its not like it was hard because I wanted him to be happy. When his plans crumbled I assured him that it was totally fine and then I fixed it. I was getting ready to buy him a new truck before he left. Ugh.
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This guy is no prize as you yourself know. Did you ever write all those things he is on your mirror the way KML advised? You need to do so in order to reverse the brainwashing.
What do I write? Bad stuff? That he's a grumpy insecure old man who thinks he is superior than everyone else? That the world would be a better place if they did things his way?
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That said, you are here for a reason. Everything we need is inside us. We control our happiness. We control our outlook on life. It’s best to get out of our own heads. My advice? Give yourself a certain amount of time for a pity party, set the clock to 15 minutes. Then, every time your mind ruminates, exhaust yourself in other ways. Go walk or run up steep hills. Walk listening to stories of those who survived the holocaust. I just watched a quick history on Princess Alice of Battenberg. She was the great- granddaughter of Queen Victoria (mother of Queen Elizabeth’s husband, Philip) and ended up totally displaced/nomadic for years of her life! She was locked against her will in an insane asylum for years and missed all four of her daughters weddings. She was experimented on physically. She turned that around to a life of service and incredible fortitude. Maybe try looking to stories of inspiration vs. looking in the rear view mirror at your ex.
You can do this! You already are doing it! You are surviving each and every moment and getting stronger.
I do like inspiring stories and I know I'm getting better. I think if I can learn to be okay on my own that I will feel so empowered. I am tired of relying on other people to prop me up.
