Sorry you're here. I'll admit I've only read bits of your situation.
Originally Posted by Paco
I can proudly say I am all NC now.. Yesterday I dropped the kids with her and it was the first time when after enjoying some time with them together I was the first one to want to go,
Well, not exactly. Sounds like contact. My GF is NC with he ex-H. She doesn't see him during the exchange of kids. For years I limited contact with my ex-W to matters essential to the kids (quiet handoffs).
Originally Posted by Paco
I read all this DB stories were Hs say the first step is to be friends again,
Interesting. In most situations I think we recommend the opposite--either because there's been a betrayal (poor friend material) or because it would be too hard or to allow for "missing" each other. With my partner I went from together to NC to romantically together again. I'm not sure "friends" would've worked.
Originally Posted by Paco
"[T]he only one to shift the blame 100% on the other here was [you]."
I doubt blaming her 100% for being the only one to shift blame 100% (in front of the kids) will rate as either one of your best (or worst) moments in the marriage. You're human. Do better next time.
Originally Posted by Pack_19
On a different topic, how can I deal with the sex drought? It has been many many months and I am 29 so my drive is quite strong. One of my goals as better man is to stop any kind of porn and my friends keep encouraging me to use tinder.. I do not want to complicate or mess any chances at R
Dating complicates reconciliation. Been there, done that, in case reconciliation is a goal. I've controversially noted here before If you're ready to move on, at least one study shows rebounds help, and I see no ethical issues if you're honest with everyone. I am curious why you believe self-satisfaction makes you a worse man than sleeping with random people on Tinder. If the issue is you consider porn unethical, consider whether erotic literature or some limited cross-section of porn is satisfying and fits your ethics.
