Now that I know of the ow/xgf, I'm not sure zero communication is the key. I almost wish I would of said more last year. I don't know if it would of made a difference. But I think I might just do like one email a week from D3's point of view. I didn't do anything like that last year & I regret it.
that makes me question your motive (and I mean that in the nicest way, I often question my own motives for doing things and I personally believe it is a healthy habit to consider why one thinks or feels or acts a certain way).
It should make no difference in whether there is an OW or not in how you treat him or how you should respond to him. One thing I haven't wanted to raise for you, that I think you should be cognizant of, is that because this is a long-distance affair with his work situation, it will probably last longer. It can't get real for any length of time. They likely won't l live together for long periods. Therefore, less opportunity to take off the lurv goggles and see things for what they are.
Accordingly, I think (and this is my view of reading yours and other threads, and living with this a long time), the more he wonders what is going on with you, the less he knows about your life there, the better.
If you send him what you are talking about sending him for the reason you articulated yourself above, you are pursuing him. You are using your kid to do it, but it is still pursuit. KML is always spot on. If your D wants to talk to him, dial and hand her the phone. Other than that, let him make the lame effort to be a dad who is choosing to add yet more distance to his relationship with his D.
I hope I am not being too harsh, but you did solicit opinions. This is mine and mine alone. In time you will come to realize that you can't make him parent, you can't keep him in her life, and she will be fine growing up with a strong, caring mom who does make her a priority. For probably a long time he will be a guy she speaks to little and sees less.
