You are doing great! Your outlook on this is healthy: you did not break him and you cannot fix him. Healthy people have healthy coping skills.
But, just to shape your expectations, he is in replay. If your bomb drop was November of 2019, there is now way he could have moved through replay that fast. When someone exhibits this level and depth of confusion/poor life coping skills, it cannot be fixed in a matter of months. That is like expecting a 15 year old to be done with puberty in a few months. Ain’t happenin.’
Focus on you, your growth and health.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
