I've been following along and again not a lawyer, but reading posts from folks who have gone through the process in your thread, it really seems like there is no reason you shouldn't get 50/50, the courts like to see that, it is widely understood that it is in the best interests of the children to have that, and you know and any reasonable person (= the definition of a good judge or mediator) will not hold the incident of grabbing one child who is kicking the other over you. Remember, these family court judges see real abuse. They also see spouses alleging BS abuse just like your W, and I think they are pretty good at knowing the difference.
In any case... re-read those posters who have been through this. Remind yourself why you are doing this-- for your kids. And finally-- stay consistent in response to her jumping back and forth. You probably have already done this, but if not write out reasonable, adult responses to her standard ping-pongy challenges-- #1 probably something like I disagree with your interpretation though I'm sorry you feel that way. I know I'm a good father and our children deserve 50/50 time with each parent; and #2 something like what's best for the kids is 50/50 time with each parent, and I agree that stability is important, which is why we need to work together now to create a stable 50/50 plan that starts as soon as possible.
Whether she likes it or not, this is the reality she's chosen for her children. I think you can't show her that her arguments are swaying you in any way by changing your response. I think you should be consistent and hold the line. You are a good dad. 50/50 is best for the kids. Nothing she can say will change those two fundamental truths.
Stay strong. You got this. I also like the idea of daily yoga or baking bread or learning a new skill that takes enough concentration for you to take a mental break from all the stress and anxiety every day.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
