Moving forward

[LH19]

I feel like this custody issue is holding up my ability to move on and heal..

Could be but I think other things are holding you back.

I wonder if I should feel so weighed down by it. Or if I am falsely assuming once this issue is resolved, I will feel much better. It certainly feels that way to me now..

Falsely assuming

Implicit threats about withholding the children if I don't update W what we are doing. Refusing thus far to agree to a long-term 50-50 arrangement. Constant allusions to "the past" and the letters I wrote..

I wish you would have nipped this in the bud a long time ago.

I can't live and parent like this. It is unreasonable..

It's very unreasonable and again I wish you wouldn't have aloud it to start.

- If my kids are playing with a toy sword at my house, I am worried..

Because you're afraid of your Wife

- If one of my kids falls riding their bike and skins their knee, I am worried..

Because you're afraid of your Wife

- If one of my kids asks for me to snuggle them in bed, I am worried..

Because you're afraid of your Wife

- If my kids misbehave, I am worried if I come across too strongly in addressing the situation..

Because you're afraid of your Wife

I know some of this is irrational fear. 95% of this stuff is inconsequential. But fundamentally, I am in a legally precarious situation where any little thing may be used against me. It s*cks being constantly worried. I want to start healing with my kids and adjusting to our new lives..

If you're innocent of any wrong doing there is nothing to worry about.

1. allegations about "the past".

Which are all BS right?

2. "what's best for the kids" - i.e., minimal changes to their lives (W keeps house, W works as little as possible, kids stay in all their activities which minimizes my weekday parenting time).

Best for the kids to spend as much time with their dad as possible

When I refute one, she points to the other. If I address #1 she says I am "in denial" and she believes long term I can be redeemed. If I address #2 she says the kids need "stability"..

You can't let her bully you

Anyways, I am continuing to press and not backing down. I just hope that we can resolve this soon and that my panicky feelings subside.

I wish you the best U.