I had the same feelings years ago. I get it. 3 years ago. I was so upset that ex was in a relationship and had a much easier life with a house and minimal childcare responsibilities (after he screwed us over financially)
I'm still keeping score. I was upset at first being a single mom but now I see he has to bribe them to spend time with him. Point to me.
How do you get past the financial screwing? My H gets a new R which eventually comes with a 2nd income which leads to a new house and an easier life. Point to him.
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He was telling her he was with son when he was with someone else. (Ex barely spends time with son) Well - a week later there’s a new and younger girl hanging out with ex and my son (on the few days he actually takes son).
(Remember I'm only a year out). See if/when this happens I'm going to be even more upset because this means my H gets a 2nd chance at life dating until he finds someone wonderful to marry. He gets a complete do over.
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Now -I don’t feel upset, I just pity the younger woman who is wasting her limited childbearing years on him - cause he will f her over too.
Once they f over their wives - it becomes easier to do the same to their new girlfriends. I notice they don’t wait as long to do so. Kind of like serial killers. The first murder is the hardest and takes the most planning , but then they get a taste for it.
I don't give a flip about the OW but I am bothered by the part where H wins. Gets to love bomb and be love bombed. Gets the perpetual high of ego strokes, in that new house with all the money meanwhile I feel like my life is over. My life is rice/beans, crappy rental houses, and being alone.
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So, try to reframe your thought patterns. Be happy that he is out of your life - because you know what’s in store for any woman that he ends up with. They don’t change - they get sneakier. I would never date a man that was cheating on his wife. He’s not a prize. He’s not some type of catch. So be happy you are rid of him and focus on building yourself up and your own path.
I'm trying I really am. The only thing that helps is knowing he probably won't be happier. He's a bottomless pit of I'll be happy when....but when that shiny thing wears off he has to find a new shiny thing. Cars, boats, campers, vacations, multiple houses, big houses, new jobs, promotions and now it's a new woman. 30 years of this (OW is new). Juggling the money to pay for all this took me several hours a week. I did all this just to have him leave?? Seriously?? Then my thoughts strangle me by telling me that he will find this amazing, younger, prettier OW who of course has more disposable income and she will be rewarded by getting the prince I worked so hard to get.
Yes logically I know I'm being ridiculous emotionally I think you know that he won. He gets his happily ever after while I get screwed.
