Divorce and Acceptance part 5

[Pax_luv]

Oh Believe, what a nice and grounding message. Thank you for that. I appreciate it.

Definitely touches on some of the things I dealt with in my marriage. When It ended, I went to our mc on my own and she told me “you are never going to be good enough for him, nothing you do will ever be good enough for him... he doesn’t see you.”

And while that’s on him, I felt it. I tried harder and harder to please him just to be acknowledged. I literally had nothing left for myself. So sick when I think of it... but we do the best we can at the time. I didn’t know better and maybe I was in survival mode because there was no way I could see or even understand the repercussions of my own behavior. I needed to stand up for myself and I didn’t know how to do that at the time. 5 years later and it sends me into a tailspin still when he tries to control the situation

The door might be open for us to start negotiating. I’m suspicious of it all and it has triggered me big time the last few days.

I get it.. I don’t need to agree on anything unless I feel it’s fair. But even having his presence in my mind is too much. Definite ptsd- and I’m reminded of the last several times where I didn’t succumb to his demands. It’s emotional terrorism at its finest.

But thank you again believe. I think it’s time I bust out my mantras again. They do help!!