Kindly, I hope you are doing some kind things for yourself today. Build yourself up again. You are compassionate, loyal, kind. He is not running from you; as Job says, he is running toward a fantasy life in which all his problems will disappear. I had kind of a down couple of days too, and it's always helpful to read Job's advice. It's incredibly validating. It's easy, at least for me sometimes, to observe H and think he is living this great life... well, he thinks he is. But it makes sense that it seems that way in this fantasy stage. Sometimes I forget this is most likely replay, and of course they're laughing and joking on the phone. They're living that grade school/high school/college life.
You know I can empathize with you there. The phone calls. It's so annoying. My H has some cards of mine in his nightstand too (which is part of the MBR). In some ways our Hs are so similar, and in some so opposite. My H is living his fun life and said months ago he was ready to move on, get on with his life, but he's still here, stuck, it seems, in between. He used to exercise a ton and even bought some equipment to start again during lockdown, but that hasn't really happened. Maybe your H can motivate him.
Trying to find that humor as Job suggests... but I know it s*cks. I think living with these guys makes us more susceptible to drifting back into almost buying their blame and justification. Their upside-down reality blurs with ours. But we have to keep trusting ourselves. This is a message to you, but to myself too.
I only wish we could get together and eat some brownies while our spouses vape!
