Captain ~ Yep, you're going to get blamed for making her life miserable when you offer a reasonable proposal. It's funny how the WAS chooses D first, but is often the last to recognize/understand/accept the consequences of the decision.
It's funny, and unfortunate. She said she was never getting married again. I said, "That's the way it's supposed to be." Then she said, "No thanks. Learned my lesson. Fool me once, fool twice....ya can't get fooled thrice!" She (and we) have often joked with that similar famous Bushism. I just said, "Nobody fooled you, sorry." Then she went, "Life fooled me." I said, "Nope, sorry." And she got all huffy and I excused myself from the conversation.
Hey Captain ~ I'm going to nitpick a little bit -- that was not really a DB conversation you entered into there.
Her: I'm never getting married again.
You (alerted to the fact you are getting sucked into an R talk): I'm going to go <insert GAL activity here>.
She's got her version of reality. The more you debate, question, defend, etc., the more she will entrench herself in her position. It is counter-intuitive.
When it comes to hashing out terms of a settlement, of course, it's time to assert yourself.
I know, not the best Dbing moment for me. I wasn't trying to debate her, however (probably semantics), just pointing out the obvious. She wasted no time notifying her lawyer she agreed to terms.
Hey Captain ~ I'm going to nitpick a little bit -- that was not really a DB conversation you entered into there.
Her: I'm never getting married again.
You (alerted to the fact you are getting sucked into an R talk): I'm going to go <insert GAL activity here>.
She's got her version of reality. The more you debate, question, defend, etc., the more she will entrench herself in her position. It is counter-intuitive.
When it comes to hashing out terms of a settlement, of course, it's time to assert yourself.
It's difficult. Conversation went a little longer than I anticipated. I was calm and not expressing emotion the whole time, but it is hard when so many logically twisted things come at you.
I screwed up at the end. You're right. Definitely not validating her on that one. It's been her choice to go down this road, and nobody tried to trick her or anything, but for some reason, she feels like she was fooled.
Last night she got my list of household items I'd like to keep (which we had already discussed and there didn't seem to ne an issue). She said she now had problems with some things. Some pretty petty stuff mostly. It wasn't a huge thing, so I wasn't going to bother fighting on it. One thing was my bike that she had got me when we had been dating only a couple weeks. Out of curiosity, I asked today why she wanted it (it's too big for her). She replied that she didn't and I could have it. Then I moved on to other things (gave her an update on the health of my grandmothers - both may die this week), and she followed up her previous comment with:
Quote
I wanted the bike because I want to take back everything I've bought you. Bike, clothes, shoes, watch, theater stuff, and everything else I've forgotten since I did not keep a list. You can have the black recliner in living room.
