I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 11

[LH19]

My reasons 1) I know deep down that I'm still trying to please him, 2) I don't want to disappoint him, 3) I don't want him to feel that I'm controlling the situation.

KK these are all the same. I will say it for the umpteen time "YOU CANNOT NICE HIM BACK". What you can get from his is respect. How do you do that? LH will show you.
H: KK I want you to lift that order now. I need to purchase my new house for me and my whore.
KK: I understand you are trying to purchase a new house but I have to look out for my best interest.
H: Lift the order now or I will never speak to you again.
KK: I'm sorry you feel that way.
H: I need to by my house!
KK: I understand and I would like to start my new life too but this is a process.

^^^ I totally get that all of those focus on HIM. That is why I've been wanting to avoid this topic with him 100%. Its my achille's heel for absolute sure.

Why are you trying to avoid the topic its a great chance to show him you won't be walked over and you want to move on too.

I also know my suggesting if we could just drop both attys and just take time apart for awhile is trying to instigate an R talk on where we are at?, also definitely showing I'm plan B? and maybe control? IDK about the last one. But, I 100% know that is a lame thing to say and to not even go there!!!

He knows your plan B by your actions but for fun lets play this one out. Which scenario is more likely?
1. KK: H if we could just drop both attys and just take time apart for awhile I think we could repair our marriage.
H: You know I think you're right. I guess I didn't think this through. Lets cancel the attorneys I will retract the bid on the house and dump my girlfriend. Maybe we can work this out after all.
2. KK: H if we could just drop both attys and just take time apart for awhile I think we could repair our marriage.
H: Are you crazy? I have a new girlfriend who treats me like a king and I bought a new house. I have been is this miserable marriage with you and unhappy for years. I am going to be so happy now because I will have a new house close to work and my GF is flawless.

I know option two is harsh but it is how he feels right now. Doesn't mean he is right but that is how he feels.

Back to focusing on the prize... which is me!!!

These are your words but your actions do not match your words.