hey Cali! HOW is it possible that your son is 13 already!
So interesting about your ex - it's really something how these hidden traumas pop up. Not sure what my ex's was except that he left when our youngest son was the same age that Ex was when his mom left in a MLC. But then he had other problems I've only really been able to see in retrospect.
In my dating post-divorce I've gradually slid towards being more like those Love Avoidant guys I met in the beginning! Not really a Love Avoidant but honestly, I've no interest in actually marrying again and after my experience of the last year and a half, not sure I'll ever live with anyone again. An occasional booty call and someone to go out with once in a while seems like enough.
(Quick synopsis of the last year and a half: started dating a new guy, 3 months in he loses his job due to tariffs and is diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 2 weeks later. I know he has enough money to live on but not enough to pay rent AND doctors bills so move him into my home, expecting he'll probably be dead in 6 months. 20 months later he's still kicking (although his cancer has spread) and the reality of living with someone who turns out to have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder is difficult - not so much for me personally - he's good to me - but he cannot get along with my younger son. I would have asked BF to move out long ago but he's got nowhere else to go. Once this is over - either miraculous cure - unlikely - or eventual death, I don't think I'll ever have a boyfriend live with me again.)
I'm glad you've gotten the satisfaction of an apology and the knowledge that it wasn't really about you.
