eh... I think I would have to care MORE than I do to have died over it. I think I'm getting to a place where I need to put on my big girl undies and tell it like it is.
There have been on going texts over the order... asking why it can't be lifted.. courts closed is my excuse but I have never ever asked my atty over it ---- outside of the fact my atty said I could agree he could have the funds but she highly did not recommend it.
So... its to the place he knows there may be a work around. But, I'm not saying much other than I'm not comfortable with it. Told him he could call later. I AM NOT TEXTING THIS... verbal only from here on out.
We will see if I cave.
I'm still stunned that he felt appalled that I was bitc*ing to my bff about him... I am almost certain he does the same to me with his friends... Guess that doesn't mesh with his fantasy world.
Soooo... I'm down 20lb and my only goal this month was to drop 5lb. I know weight loss slows over time so I kept my goal realistic.
However - 3weeks in and I'm down 0... zilch... nada...
I'm working out 5 times a week. I know I'm pushing myself because I go to bed at night feeling the burn in my glutes. My arms are sore in the morning... or my back muscles...
Overall I'm trying to get down at least 35lb -- that will be my weight when we got M.
My eating habits have changed. I could drop a tiny bit more sugar. Frustrated at 3 weeks and no needle drop.
Remember, that working out increases muscle mass. And muscle weighs more than fat. So more than likely you are still losing fat, but gaining muscle. That's a good thing but won't be reflected in the scale.
Other way to tell, how do you look? How do you feel? Are your clothes fitting better or are looser in the waist?
Don't fixate on body weight!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
There have been on going texts over the order... asking why it can't be lifted.. courts closed is my excuse but I have never ever asked my atty over it ---- outside of the fact my atty said I could agree he could have the funds but she highly did not recommend it.
Stop engaging with him over this. Next time he brings it up reply with:
"I am not lifting the order on advice from my attorney. And will not discuss it further." Then ignore his ranting and raving on it. He thinks he can still manipulate you on such things.
Likely you like getting his attention still, deep down. That still shows attachment. So do you think deep down you like when he engaging with you even if it is in a negative way?
Last edited by Steve85; 04/28/2001:34 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
There have been on going texts over the order... asking why it can't be lifted.. courts closed is my excuse but I have never ever asked my atty over it ---- outside of the fact my atty said I could agree he could have the funds but she highly did not recommend it.
Stop engaging with him over this. Next time he brings it up reply with:
"I am not lifting the order on advice from my attorney. And will not discuss it further." Then ignore his ranting and raving on it. He thinks he can still manipulate you on such things.
Likely you like getting his attention still, deep down. That still shows attachment. So do you think deep down you like when he engaging with you even if it is in a negative way?
I hate the negative interactions... 100%.
I have been cowering over this order because deep down I don't want to displease him. Knowing that is my weakness I keep avoiding it.
Last night he was supposed to call about discussing the order. I was going to state exactly that - my atty does not advise I do such as he is asking. Since he said he was getting new atty and having to start all over I was going to suggest that the attys just handle it going forward... unless he feels that there may be other options and letting the attys go for now.
OK that last statement was dumb and shows I'm still plan b.
He never called last night. I just went to bed. Woke up to a text at 12:30am that his battery was dead. He tried calling at 9am but I was at work so ignored... ignored.. ignored...
I'm feeling stronger. I'm getting busier. Thanks for weighing in Steve85. Appreciate the support.
Remember, that working out increases muscle mass. And muscle weighs more than fat. So more than likely you are still losing fat, but gaining muscle. That's a good thing but won't be reflected in the scale.
Other way to tell, how do you look? How do you feel? Are your clothes fitting better or are looser in the waist?
Don't fixate on body weight!
I'm feeling stronger. Physically and mentally. I HATE WORKING OUT. But, I'm always glad I did it when I'm done.
Clothes are fitting the same in the last 3 weeks. But, I think I've got more of the inner glow thing going on!!!
So if that's the case then lean muscles will burn more calories... hopefully in another week or two I'll see those 5lb starting to shed. Overall another 15lb and I would be soooo stoked and smoking hot! I'm going to get there.
Good job with working out! I’m right with you, I hate it too but I do love the feeling I get after pushing myself to do it. Not a physical feeling but more satisfaction of pushing through to getting it done.
Also great job ignoring the phone call! That’s the right step!
There's a gap between what Steve's proposing and what you're proposing.
Originally Posted by Steve85
"I am not lifting the order on advice from my attorney. And will not discuss it further."
Originally Posted by KitCat
my atty does not advise I do such as he is asking. I was going to suggest that the attys just handle it going forward unless he feels that there may be other options and letting the attys go for now.
I only point this out because you viewed these messages as the same.
Steve's message conveys "No" and ends this negative interaction. Your message conveys "My attorney suggested X" and suggests what he do next [unwanted advice - control?]. I get firmness is hard and maybe you aren't ready to say no. By simply telling him you'd gotten advice to do otherwise you invite continued discussion on this matter. Letting go of one of your last recurring interactions can't be easy.
