I think my mindset when my ex mil or ex husband does something nice is more of a “good. They should be doing a lot more considering the crap they got away with but I saved this amount of money or got some extra babysitting etc. “. I do know you have to just stay polite in order to get more from them later on. But emotionally I view them as someone that owes me and that helps prevent the feeling of being mind f”d.
this is interesting to me as the last conversation I had with my ex-mil was when she called me about a month after my dad's funeral with all sorts of excuses for her absence, and an apology for not acknowledging my birthday or Christmases with gifts since the split, and that she thinks of me all the time, and acknowledges how hard I work and that all the heavy lifting is on my shoulders. She concluded by asking about my new house and saying she wanted to buy me something REALLY nice (read: expensive) that would make my house that much more special to me. Don't worry about how big it is or anything ... she's happy to buy it.
I said, not necessary. She insisted and I said I'd think about it.
Well, I thought about it and concluded a few things:
* I'm not so easily bought * I don't need any reminders of her in my new home * I'm not inclined to let her write a check to allay her guilt. No. She can live with what she did that set this all in motion, just as she can live with how she treated me for 26 years.
Maybe that makes me an unforgiving B!tc&. If so, oh well.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
