I do worry about the fickleness of feelings. I have always been someone that was more logical. I never went for partners based on chemistry. My ex husband was a logical choice - he had everything going for him on paper. But then under the surface there were all those crazy issues. I wonder if feelings and chemistry can also be instinct? Like I didn’t have good chemistry or feelings with ex husband. I had a lot of resentment and in hind site it’s probably because I sensed something. I just didn’t have a definition because I didn’t have experience with those patterns of addiction. So logic only works when you have facts and quantifiable data - but people lie or lead double lives so you can’t rely on it. Last bf - I didn’t have chemistry either.
With my fiancé - the feelings are there. Really deeply. I know myself and I know that i am committed once chemistry is gone. I do worry that my commitment has kept me in unhealthy dynamics in the past and I hope my walking out of last years relationship means I will do it again of things ever get unhealthy again. But that’s a fear. I do worry that fiancé might be willing to commit because of all the feelings and chemistry but then when that goes will he stay committed. He feels he is that type. But how does one ever know? Wait 3 years -7 years? I guess it’s a risk. I waited over 7 years with ex husband - and I still got deceived and financially screwed. So there’s no real assurance cause there doesn’t seem to be recipes for guaranteed success.
