It feels like a mind F. Because it is a mind F. It’s like a rapist bringing flowers to your home. Those nice gestures would take a toll on anyone because they normalize and trivialize their bad behaviors. They make you think that she’s not a bad person for sleeping with a pregnant woman’s husband - because look - she brings donuts!
I know you do all this for your daughter ( you are an incredible mom) and there’s something to be said to be able to keep your enemies closer. I get that. Personally, I prefer minimal contact But I get where your coming from. I think my mindset when my ex mil or ex husband does something nice is more of a “good. They should be doing a lot more considering the crap they got away with but I saved this amount of money or got some extra babysitting etc. “. I do know you have to just stay polite in order to get more from them later on. But emotionally I view them as someone that owes me and that helps prevent the feeling of being mind f”d.
