Bttrfly .... wow someone I actually remember!! How have ya been ??
Originally Posted by bttrfly
Wow. What an update! So, how is exw now? In what ways has she changed? In what ways is she the same?
She seems to be doing much much better. She has spent the last couple years working on her relationship with our son which seems to be in a good place, sure she nags and is over protective but there have been situations I have just bluntly told her if she kept pressing him she would lose him and she will back off and make peace with him. She seems much more at ease and not as impulsive like she was in MLC phase, dare I say less selfish. During this Lockdown I do her grocery shopping as she is terrified to get the virus with her weaker immune system... and unlike her she is extremely appreciative, even pre-MLC she was never that way. Its very similar to the person I married so long ago but its like you can tell she went through a war and has come out the other side much more calmer and seems to have a different set of priorities.
Originally Posted by bttrfly
How about you? How has what you went through colored your intimate relationships moving forward? I ask because I feel so stuck .. I've moved lightyears ahead in some areas, but I haven't dated at all. Just feel a wall there when I even think about it. I'd like to blow up that wall, but I'm not sure how to do it.
Ugh .,.. so I dated this one girl.."Irish" on and off for a couple years, she helped me in alot of areas then I met someone whom checked off so many of the boxes I was looking for. We got very close very fast and with this I discovered I still am looking for the other shoe to drop, the past issues with xw have given me some trust issues that I did not experience till this year, some justified and some not. The positive part is as bad as the break up was I know I will never face anything like MLC so regardless I know I will be fine but there is still some more work to do when I thought I was darn near a perfect specimen of a man. I can relate to the wall thing ... thats one Irish never got past, we are still friends but I know she was a bit miffed at not being able to get through that and then someone else did. I think its just a gut thing, you will find someone whom you will not have reservations about but its after so much mirror time and self improvement till you get to a place that you actually deserve to be happy. MLC seemed to me to have an impact, we spent so much time focused on them and being miserable that it was tough to move that focus inward and heal ... heal to a point where we can admit to ourselves we deserve something better. I think I felt in a way I deserved the MLC wrath in some mystical way as punishment for all my wrong-doings.
Originally Posted by bttrfly
Anyway, final question - how's your boy doing?
It really is so so so great to read an update from you buddy! I've missed you!! {{{{{{{Cali}}}}}}}
My son is amazing, he truly is. He seems to have gone through all this very well. He is taller than I am ... at 13 ...We are guessing he is going to be 6-0 before he is 14...his favorite line is "Dad I still look up to you even if I have to look down" that's about the time I do not care about Child Protective Services and am sure they will side with me for beating him.
