This next phase is going to be tough. Costs are skyrocketing. Tensions are running high. And there is a bit of a ticking clock where things may get worse on that front soon. Ugh.
I'll have my kids for a few hours today. Usually I feel a whole lot better when they are around, although sometimes my oldest is wound up during these short visits. Sometimes he is moody, or lets me know he thinks everything is my fault. I know they are big feelings, he is only 8, and he is going through a lot. I try to just listen and be there for him. So much weight on his shoulders, poor kid.
I continue to struggle with this combination of my situation and the quarantine. I can see how I need to really double-down on self-care -- keep busy, find some things to do outside my comfort zone (maybe a daily yoga session?) I find myself stressed out about tangential things sometimes, things that would normally not stress me out (for instance, what will I make for dinner when my kids come over, will S8 be upset, etc.). I know it's the anxiety tornado - if I can separate out the one or two driving thoughts, I can disarm the tangential ones.
I'm going to have to pull myself up and get through this way or another. I am trying. But I feel I am spending a lot of time and energy flailing.
