Good morning KitCat, I’m right with you, I just started practicing NC and it’s SO. FREAKING. HARD. especially because I feel like my H is actively avoiding me because he is afraid he will waver on his decision. Yesterday he did something nice for the kiddos while he was here and I almost texted him this morning to tell him thank you for doing that but I didn’t and later got a text from about separating finances.
Thank goodness I didn’t text. I very much agree with HopeCA on previous page about texting him is setting yourself up for anxiety and disappointment. Keep working at lowering the expectations. Also did you mute his contact on your phone? I’m telling you to DO IT if you haven’t. I just did it a few days ago and it is a little empowering that I don’t respond back to him right away because it’s not dinging in my face causing a wave of anxiety. I choose to not let that text message control me. When I do decide to read the text message and I put my phone back down and WAIT to respond until after I have processed what is there sitting in the message for me. Old ElevenDiamonds would respond with emotion and I almost almost behaved in a petty way this weekend as a response because I’m hurting right now. But I put the phone down and a few minutes later I realized why I was trying to respond petty and all that would do is validate his thoughts right now that he is making the right choice. I can rise above that previous behavior.
My goal is short and polite and give NOTHING more right now. We can do this!
