Scout's QLC journey #4

[DnJ]

Good Morning scout

Why was I so easy to discard and replace?

On deeper examination, hurt isn’t the right description of how I feel. It makes me feel uneasy. Unsafe. Exposed. Embarrassed. Invisible. Insecure.

I understand the answer will be ‘do nothing because there’s nothing you can do about it’. So in the absence of any possible action, I suppose I’m just looking for validation and empathy.

You are of course correct. There is nothing you can force STBXH to do.

You do have many possible actions, different paths you could take. kml pointed a few out to you. You are right that most of those are not worthy of you or your time and effort. Continue to stick it the high road.

Choosing to do nothing is doing something. That is an action. That is a choice.

Therein lay your power.

You are S2’s mother. You define and choose what kind of Mom, and person, you are going to be! Not STBXH. Not OW.

Control. You control you, your thoughts, your actions and reactions.

I completely empathize with your feelings - Unsafe. Exposed. Embarrassed. Invisible. Insecure. It is more than just hurt, isn’t it?

Work through those feelings. Allow them to wither. They are after all, fleeting.

Recognize the coupling of your feeling and the trigger. I am sure you do not feel invisible all the time, just when OW is shoved in your face. When the smell of her perfume sets your mind wandering. See this and detach. Rationalizing your reactions will uncouple the feelings.

The power and control you gain from traversing this path makes all this heartache and suffering worthwhile. In my opinion you are walking an excellent path. Hold your head high and realize who you are. Live Her!

DnJ