Day 38 (Covid/Stay-At-Home) ~j~ Being Positive IS up to ME. I was feeling positive, reminded myself I've been here before, many times. And then, 00 asked me to follow through with a favor I agreed to. The favor is to put a bag of his out for pick-up. No big deal right? That's what I keep telling myself. It's pretty much his last bag of clothes.
When he left, he didn't take everything he wanted. (He had the time, but didn't do it). I assumed he'd left work things behind that he wanted, so I said. "Don't worry, we can figure it out, get it sent to you while you're in quarantine." No big deal. Then he asked me if I'd go through the bag, see what was in there. Half work half civilian clothes (nice/dressy). Again, no big deal. He'll want the work clothes. Nope. He wants everything. Wow. Okay. No big deal right? These are just clothes? WHY do I care? It took everything in me not to send a snarky comment... I'd been used. Right? Here I am packing this mans bag up so it can be picked up and sent to him. Is that the bags final destination? Then the questions started brewing in my mind. Will he take it with him? Is he storing it somewhere for later? Is he sending it elsewhere? Then I just stopped thinking. IT's JUST A BAG.
He could of easily taken this bag with him and I would have no clue what's in it, other than more clothes, and the garage has less of his personal stuff in it. One bag of clothes left that don't matter and he still has some personal items here. But it hurt. Hurt that this stupid bag was him leaving me all over again like in February, but I helped pack the bag! Given this situation, I am in control of how I react. It's just a bag. I have to say that. He's made all the arrangements for it's pickup. I just stuck labels on and leave it out tomorrow. It's just a bag.
Being positive is up to me. How can I allow an object rule how I feel? I can't allow that. NO to that. It's just stuff and it's not my stuff. So what I helped out. I said I would. I think I'm over it. I talked to Step-MIL about it the other day, that I felt used. No wonder he was being so nice to me! Feeling like a fool that's been taken advantage of, but it's just a bag.
I'm sure I'm not alone here. Right? Please share. Sharing is caring!
Hope everyone is well. Venting here always helps.
~Never Give Up ~ 2019 Mar BD June BD Dec Aow/xgf 2020 Jan he wants D Feb he flys2 ow Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn Apr he leaves for work until Nov Oct D FINAL 2020 Living MY Happiest Life Ever
