For some reason I haven't had the mental fortitude to update on the board but I saw my friend Fogg stopped by and I got the will!
I think it is good me and the ex have a kind relationship. Best for everyone. Sometimes it does cross boundaries that I am uncomfortable with. Like yesterday he and the wife made a surprise visit to my house with a dozen of Krispy Kreme donuts. I imagine they were more for D12, but I invited them to in to sit and the such and thanked them, Sometimes the nice gestures take a toll on me mentally. Nice stuff shouldn't, but it does at times. It's like a mind F.
Currently D12 is in her room doing a zoom with her dad and his wife and her family. I told her she had to go in her room for this. I just don't want everyone "in" my house. I need to set some kind of boundaries for myself. The lonliness is a tough one to tackle. I am lonely for a healthy partner. I would way rather be alone than to just be with someone. That I am sure of. My frustration lies in not meeting that healthy partner, especially when it seems like a simple thing for everyone else. It's a long drawn out series of disappointments and lessons in my 40 years. In the end I realize being alone is way better than just being with someone to be with them.
Today all D12 and I did was binge watch TV and color. Seriously. It's a rainy day and it was awesome. I am about to embark on a 6 day work week so I needed a little down time.I did my lawn yesterday for the first time this season and that was alot of work. ANd i think I have poison Ivy or something too. Lucky me. I also have achilles tendonitis and can't run. My podiatrist basically told me running is not for everyone. So, I/m going to have to find another option. Yesterday we did a drive by birthday for D12's bestie. It was orchestrated by D12 and I am really impressed with how she put it together.
Last, but not least my aunt is back in the hospital. On my unit. With COVID. My cousin is freaking. SHe's been home for 2 days from the psych hospital, was in the regular hospital(diverted from going ot my hospital where she normally goes) during that admission and hasn't been home in a long time. I am very concerned about her. SHe has dementia and a psychotic component which came out after her open heart surgery where she almost dies back in september. She is in restraints in the hospital because they can't do sitters anymore. SHe is medically fragile and was a 55 year smoker. ANd the whole family was exposed over the last 2 days including her 78 year old father and her 7 year old son. Such a mess.
Pleasant update, right? ha! I've got a lot going on. I'm working too much. But I do know I have been appreciating the small things in life. Like quality time with my D. The being alone everyday all day is taking a toll on her and she just likes having me around. ANd i like having her around even when her favorite hobby is finding ways to spend my money
