Just a few things for thought seeing as how self reflective you are about all of this.
-Patience, my god, patience. This has been and continues to be an exercise in patience for me and I think all women like us. Result oriented women are some how built for this, and not built at all for this. Expectations are a b*tch to over come. Especially the time line. How much more efficient would the world be if everyone ran on the time lines we have in our heads....lol. But you have this. You really do.
-I find the A excuses funny. I offered an open marriage. H3ll, it's still on the table. But my H can't handle the idea of me doing what he did, lol. That was a confrontation in the early days. I wonder how your H would've reacted if you would've turned around and said "you know what you're right, let's talk about an open marriage." I kind think that the idea of an other man touching you would've made him "reassess" immediately. The control thing though....
-Control. In my world it's been a double edged sword. In the beginning H claimed he couldn't have a friendship with a woman because I don't trust any of his female friends. Why? Well in reality we all know it wasn't because of the one pathetic reasons he stated. But that reason was the one time I refused a double date with one of his female friends whose divorce wasn't final, and who in a weird turn of events was dating the ex of a a friend of mine, the night before H was supposed to get on a plane for a trip for a week. We had 5 of his female friends at our wedding, and his best female friend stood up in our wedding with my best male friend. I never policed ever who he was with. I policed who I had to spend my time with. He also claimed I controlled the entire trajectory of our relationship. He ever so kindly framed it in a way where I gave him ultimatums throughout the entire relationship. So his only choices were do what I want or lose me. Sound familiar? But I know I was controlling in other ways. I know I like things my way. I know I micromanged things I had absolutely no reason to. But because of these damn stories they made up, it's difficult to navigate what my 180 needs to be and what is the line I need to draw in the sand. You've given me food for though on this one.
You guys seems to still be communicating well and navigating these hurdles fairly efficiently. Obviously you have a long road to go, but it seems like things are still on a good path.
