I'm only familiar with laws in my state because of my past career so I strongly suggest you consult with counsel where you are, but this is what I do know about my state. Anything you can agree to outside of court saves you both time and money but it could leave things unbalanced and could leave one or both of you unprotected once your filing actually do hit the court room. If you are in separate households you probably should separate funds if there's an equivalent of legal separation there you may want to considering going that route and let the court decide what the financial arrangement would be. If that's not an option if you guys are handling separate households and separate money other than the question of is this really what you want to do I'm not sure you have any other option than to start D proceedings for financial protection and for a court ordered visitation and placement plan.
The thing is he is so wishy washy on this stuff I'd let it go until you know he's actually going to go for it. After that, I think you'd just say "ok, so now that we're separated physically and financial I think the next step is...." it's his choice to blow it up or take it like a man.
