GOOD JOB. Fighting the urge to text H in the beginning of all of this was so so hard for me. I was just desperate to connect with him in whatever way I could.
The thing I realized quickly (though it took me a long time to actually abide by this lesson) was that I was reaching out in an effort to soothe my anxiety, and it literally never worked. If I texted and he didn’t respond: anxiety. If I texted and his response was short: anxiety. If I texted and he engaged more than I expected: a wave of excitement followed shortly by letdown and anxiety. I think you know this already, but I find it helpful to frame it this way. This was one way that I came to realize that I tend to look for external ways to soothe my anxiety and pain, and it was time for me to start to learn to do that from within. I’ll let you know when I’ve got that all sorted
Anyway, I’ve been following along with your sitch, and I completely relate to all the feelings you are having. It seems like right now you’re going through a period of a bit more acceptance and embracing of the lessons you’re learning here, great job! That feeling may or may not stay. For me (and many others) it comes in waves, as do the other feelings. Keep up the good work, and keep putting that phone down!
