Kas, you need to take time to heal yourself and your children before you think of dating again, especially with your history. Maybe make a promise to yourself that for the next two years you will focus on nurturing and increasing your friendships with women, and not date. There will be time for that later, and if you date right now, you’re likely to fall into your same old patterns.
I got involved with 2 men (online) after H left and yes I fell into the same patterns. Decided to fix this so I quit. After 4 months I lost the urge to find a replacement. As a precaution I avoid romance novels, highly sexualized movies or shows. I’m not currently interested in men.
My thoughts are irrational I think I need a man to take care of me but I don’t want one. After 4 decades it feels pretty good to be free. I’m sad though and I worry that the only path to happiness is another R. It’s all I’ve ever known. Does this make sense?
