Your issues are not beyond the scope of this board. Sometimes we may not understand what you or anyone that posts are seeking from us, but we do listen, offer advice and sometimes that advice may sting, but it is meant w/good intentions. You have a lot going on in your life now and in the past and if writing about things helps you, then continue to write them out and if you are struggling w/something, post it. There are a number of wonderful people here that are finding their footing while attempting to move on from their marriages. We all have had stumbling blocks along the way, but we do the best we can to help each other get up, dust ourselves off and continue to move forward.
HaWho has said it very well, i.e., everything you need is right inside of you. You just have to find the strength, courage and confidence to seek it out. Rebuilding takes time. As Andrew pointed out, for some, we made lists of the positives and negatives and that helped us begin to see what was actually in front of us, but we were too close to see clearly.
So, please, no one is going to say that what you are experiencing right now is beyond the scope of this Board. You are doing the best you can and learning about yourself and when the time comes, you will be surprised at how far you've come and the person you've rediscovered along the way.
Do not ever think you are the only one w/issues from your past...many of us have had them and have had to find a way to work through those issues as we struggle to navigate the ending of marriages.
Also, it's just about time to start a new thread.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
