Juju ((((Hugs))) I’m ashamed to admit I was seeking reassurance that I can be happy alone. I’ve had a man in my life since I was 14 and I’m 54. Before this the longest I was ever alone was maybe a few weeks. I’d break up with one guy and be out looking for another the next night. I’d serial date multiple men at a time kinda like speed dating until I quickly got into another R. This all seems pathetic now but this is all I’ve ever known. Oh and the men I picked? I dumped the good ones choosing instead the avoidants, abusers, druggies, ones without jobs, etc. I thought I’d won the lottery with H because he was attractive, had a good job, sex was amazing, etc. The red flags started flying a year into the R but by then I was addicted, trauma bonded, something.
Wait that’s not true one guy physically abused me, we lived together and had he asked I would have married him. I left after he threw me through a wall. I went back of course but that story is for another day I have to leave for work.
Thank you all for helping me. I need it desperately right now.
