OwnIt - thanks very much for this perspective. Makes a lot of sense to me now. He had said to me that he is taking huge risks by sharing with me (i.e. it goes against how he lived his whole life, he fears I could "use the info to hurt him", etc). I will follow by gut right now, and that is to engage in a compassionate, caring way. Thinkig of him living with OW still is a big ouch, I won't lie, but I really believe he is miserable, and that is something anyway.
