So, how do you go about validating while discussing things that you have to move forward on? Things like divorce issues. There's obviously going to be a lot of disagreement, or at least the potential for it.
Hi CaptainN, my girlfriend and I are both divorced. Neither of us wanted nor had any sort of drawn-out discussions with our ex's about the terms. My advice is to skip those. They aren't necessary. They probably won't boost your odds of a successful reconciliation or a strong co-parenting relationship.
My GF and I now have Ls. Once you have a L points of contention tend to be easy: 1. Side A proposes a change. 2. If Side B's lawyer believes Side A would be likely to win the change in court they make it. 3. If Side B's lawyer doesn't believe Side A would likely win the change in court they respond back, "No." Inherent in that "No" is the reality that the party asking for something unreasonable is the only one who would pay a bunch in court.
My GF had more point of contention than me with her ex-H so she also brought in a mediator. The mediator is a neutral party weighing in on the likelihood of getting the change and when the odds were closer to even proposing simpler alternatives either L may have missed.
