While initiating going dark process, does one comply with being told to separate finances? There is a lot to go through and I’m unsure if I truly go dark and press pause and know that H will get pissed for having to follow up and ask again (will see me as dragging it out) or move ahead at my schedule of separating? I can’t trust this stranger anymore so I am unsure if I comply as directed to keep him from getting angry and causing me more pain and difficulty or just press pause and go dark and know and expect the tantrum that will come after it?
The part about complying. . . that is the same behavior I had before where I would avoid standing up for myself or speaking up about what I wanted because I wanted to avoid a fight. Working with therapist has me realizing that I had controlling behaviors that circle around sense of survival but a new realization for me was H had controlling behaviors that circle about lack of respect. I don’t know what is the better choice for myself right now. Go dark and piss him off and face the wrath and punishment or comply to keep the volcano from erupting and save myself from more pain and difficulty? I feel like if/when he gets mad he will be petty and do whatever he can to try to hurt me. I also know that I need to keep working on detaching from that.
