Divorce and Acceptance part 5

[Rita]

Pax, I fired my lawyer and am just presenting everything myself. It's the judge's job to make an equitable distribution. Lawyers did nothing for me, everything I did was something I pushed myself. And it is not going to look good for my H to go in demanding everything with his histrionic bully of a lawyer and I am just alone with no lawyer. The only issue we have left is marital debt plus his delusional dream that I will pay alimony (we both make very little and I have full custody) and pay his legal fees when I can't even afford my own lawyer and have proof that I have tried to settle about fifteen times -- directly,through lawyers, an offer sent through a friend, an offer sent to his friend who paid his legal fees, an offer sent from a potential business partner of mine). So I figure, I am ready to just let the judge decide on those things and I am not going to waste any money on a lawyer anymore. In fact now I finally get to fight back when his lawyer bullies me. I'm not saying that your sitch is the same but in my case, all that was left was documented financial issues of debt and income. Grace recently asked me how badly I wanted to be done, and what that means is, what loss are you willing to take financially? If everything is documented, don't you think that a judge will grant you at least something close to what is equitable, based on documents alone? Do you have a trial date? I am ready to take a loss to be done. If all that is left for you is finances, I am not sure what you have to lose.

Also I have been doing research on asset dissipation. It's a real thing. You can file a TRO to stop him from dissipating the assets with endless legal fees. You just need a clear and simple solution for closure of the open issues for the judge to see. Even if your TRO doesn't work, you will get that idea into the narrative and show that you just want to be done and it's not you dragging it out.

I feel exactly the same as you. So weary, just want it to end.