Divorce and Acceptance part 5

[Pax_luv]

Hello friends,
Thank you so much for those recommendations above. I really needed it. I’m so grateful for this community.

Admittedly, it’s been a whole month since I’ve been here and I haven’t been catching up on anyone’s thread. I have a lot going on and, it’s so weird, but I can barely process anything. It’s burnout... just being fried.

The only reading I have bandwidth for is work emails, and COVID info. As a healthcare administrator, I am living and breathing this stuff and feels like every waking moment is consumed.

I’m not in a bad mental state like I was before... I think I’ve come to accept the current reality and am just doing the best I can. It’s exhausting though. I am trying to find ways to sneak in exercise, and eat right. Sleep could use some improving.... I end up staying up late watching mindless TV since it helps shut my brain down.

It’s a crazy time otherwise. I was supposed to be moving right now. That’s not happening. I had to negotiate a short term lease with my landlord to get me through the next few months. My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital (and he’s currently in the hospital right now). He seems to be on the mend, thank goodness. And ex has reared his head again.... sigh.

I feel like he’s cornering me. Could just be a threat... could be real. In any case, I just don’t have it in me right now. He’s “assembling a team of accountants and lawyers to fight this to the very end.”
Again, he’s fighting to make sure I get nothing. It’s not that I’m asking for anything unreasonable and he needs to protect himself from me...... it’s so I walk away with nothing.

I don’t know guys.... I have no more money to protect myself from him anymore. It’s been 5 years of this. Never in a million years did I think the legal system could be this wretched. I thought a simple divorce case like ours would be cut and dry.
What do I do? It’s so exhausting. I’m so defeated.