So why very first thing this morning before I got out of bed was I thinking about him? UGH... so frustrating.
It takes some people longer than others to move on, you're on your own timetable so don't sweat it. The important thing is that you don't react to it and send desperate texts as a plea for attention, and you're not, so that's good!
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I spent all last night - telling myself I'm beautiful (recent selfie posted on FB - no filters needed!, had people telling me I looked 20yr younger than I am!!), I'm smart, I'm generous, I'm devoted to my career, I'm intelligent, I'm worthy, I'm kind, I'm valuable. And, I believe all these things about me.
Awesome!
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So why am I focused on his text from yesterday - that H has to go out and get new atty and he has to start all over.
Those are two separate things though. You can (and SHOULD!) feel good about yourself, and still be heartbroken and longing to reconcile. So keep feeling good about yourself and PLEASE realize that this has nothing to do with you being a bad or unwanted person. It may feel that way now but it'll pass with time. Keep focusing on those positive affirmations.
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He continued to text. Said if I could drop the financial order he would really appreciate it.
NO NO NO. Be very firm with him on this point. He's tried to browbeat you into dropping it, he's tried to threaten you, and nothing has worked so now he is playing on your pity (oh poor me, I can't afford a lawyer! So please drop everything and let me have what I want!) Again, tell him that this came from your lawyer, not you. And it needs to be resolved with your lawyer, not you.
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I responded much later in the day with let me think about it and get back to you later - had plans this weekend. He responded with OK.
Don't respond with "let me think about it" after you've already taken hours to reply. Just tell him "no". I think you are still afraid to say that to him, worried it will "hurt your chances". It's not going to hurt anything, because right now there are no chances of recon at all. That is waaaay down the road. Just tell him no, he will have to wait until "X" date. No explanations needed. If he asks why then just tell him you had already made plans and don't want to change them.
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I will get through this day. I am stronger than this.
Yes you will. It will take longer than you want it to, but you will get there!
