K I am really sorry that you are struggling right now. Your were making so much progress and now it seems like you have had a setback. You have a lot of castotrphic thinking going on right now.
I'm aware. The progress I've made is huge and I can tell because my thinking is nowhere near as bad as it once was during a setback. The old me wants to talk and the new me says lean on no one. Learn to be my own best friend. Read don't post. The whole me has compassion for myself and says baby steps.
Quote
You keep talking about the dream with your H but the way you describe it I think a nightmare is a better description.
The dream was to live a simple life with someone. The reality is I'm alone. The nightmare is my bad thoughts.
Quote
There is so much suffering on this board because the LBS wants the WW to be something that they are not. Maybe they were in the past but people change.
I need to talk about this part because it makes me feel better. My H was always like this and I made the conscious choice to ignore it because I didn't want to be alone. I think in the long run I will see that he did me a favor. He gets to be the villain while I get to heal the part of me that accepted his neglect. Yes the kids are collateral damage in this but I have peace knowing I did not do this. He did.
Quote
As for the future you have to accept the fact that the future is uncertain and always will be uncertain and that things are happening exactly the way they are supposed to happen.
Is this really true? I know all the gurus say it is but is it something we say to feel better about tragedy? In the book Mans Search for Meaning he says we have to give meaning to the tragic event. We have to find a reason to live. Without meaning we will go from one distraction to the other never truly living again.
