I'd double check that - I've never heard of a pension where you get a buyout AND a pension payment. Discuss with your lawyer and if you can, with HR at his work.
I agree. And Ive never heard of Alimony for life. I mean not written that way. Certainly if married 50 years at age 80 but at your age if they are willing to write and sign to “alimony for the rest of your life” I’d take that in a heartbeat.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I'd double check that - I've never heard of a pension where you get a buyout AND a pension payment. Discuss with your lawyer and if you can, with HR at his work.
I agree. And Ive never heard of Alimony for life. I mean not written that way. Certainly if married 50 years at age 80 but at your age if they are willing to write and sign to “alimony for the rest of your life” I’d take that in a heartbeat.
Lifetime alimony is going away yes but it still exists in certain circumstances and I tick 8 out of 10 boxes. I will get it.
Yup that might have been your future. But now your future is wide open to be whatever you make it into. What would you like that to look like? What secret dreams or desires have been pushed down in your fear of negative feedback from your H? If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?
I want a simple life. It’s all I’ve ever wanted really. No drama, no anxiety, no buying things I don’t need, no tying my happiness to a man. I want to be free. I want a small, pretty house with lots of natural light. I want a decent yard with a fence so I can have a dog and a small garden. I want to feel safe so I want to live in a good neighborhood. I want a garage for my car and new hobbies like restoring old furniture. I want to spend my weekends sewing, going to thrift stores, reading a good book or just napping. My friends and I share the same interests so we have quilting parties or we just sit outside talking and laughing.
I’d like to take a few weekend trips with my kids or friends. Nothing big. After my kids have moved out and I have healed I want to have an R with a man who is more of a FWB than the love of my life. He has decent looks, is kind, adores me, wants more but I treat him so well that he decides I’m worth the sacrifice. We are exclusive of course and we have each other. After he leaves one night I just sit and smile remembering the day I couldn’t stop crying. I think to myself wow kml was right. Lol
Now my fears. I won’t be able to afford any of this. I’ll be stuck in a drug infested neighborhood where I will be robbed or killed by a stray bullet. It’s loud with all the parties. Everyone is married and no one likes me. Oh and the only men out there want 30 year olds or sex....with me and 5 other women they have on rotation. I get an STD and die from cervical cancer. The end.
One more thing. I want a 4 bedroom house in D14s school district. I’m totally cool with 50/50 they just each need a bedroom here that’s all. I miss D14 so much. The small house comes later.
I wish I had someone to talk to right now. I called my friend from class but nope. Guess there is no time like the present to learn to be my own best friend. D17 is here and we are watching the twilight series. She was sad but then she told me to stop thinking/talking about it. Said do something to get my mind off it. Says everything will be fine that it’s better to be broke and happy than miserable with money.
Now my fears. I won’t be able to afford any of this. I’ll be stuck in a drug infested neighborhood where I will be robbed or killed by a stray bullet. It’s loud with all the parties. Everyone is married and no one likes me. Oh and the only men out there want 30 year olds or sex....with me and 5 other women they have on rotation. I get an STD and die from cervical cancer. The end.
Lolol - you should write horror novels!
Don’t let your (mostly) irrational fears rob you of joy in the present. I love your positive image of the future. Make yourself a vision board of that. Btw, if you happen to live near Portland OR my sister teaches a free beginning quilting class.
Oh - and two teenage girls won’t die if they have to share a bedroom.
Trust me I’ve tried. I even offered to sleep in the living room. No dice. They are 17 and 14. I have no control over this unless H drops dead, kicks her out or moves the OW in. Lol
Don’t let your (mostly) irrational fears rob you of joy in the present. I love your positive image of the future. Make yourself a vision board of that. Btw, if you happen to live near Portland OR my sister teaches a free beginning quilting class.
Right now I’m waffling between fear and it’s going to be ok.......eventually. D17 said my mood just dropped. I believe in vision boards just not mine. It’s what I want but I have zero faith I’m going to get it.
I couldn’t find OR on a map. Lol. Seriously I’d have to look for it. I’m way down south in the land of cotton...
