And don't forget that what he asks for isn't necessarily what he'll get. If he's asking for the moon - you go ahead and ask for it too!
Do you think I've pissed him off? Please say yes. He doesn't know he is going to owe $6k in taxes, probably hasn't saved up $8k in legal fees like I have, likely thought I'd "stand" for him and thought he got away with cheating. He's got to know I told the kids. Please tell me that it stung just a little. For the record he does not make a ton of money and he just got finished paying off some hefty moving expenses. Actually not all of them because I still get emails. He's almost paid off something we gave away 18 months ago.
He filed an answer which means filing wasn't on his priority list otherwise he'd already done it. Oh wait in the agreement it says we pay our own debts and his cc is listed so he didn't pay that off either. S19 told me he financed his appliances since his rental didn't come with any. They are still using the fridge we used to keep in the garage. It has no ice maker or water dispenser (D14 hates this). I'm told he has no garbage can just a bag hanging on a door which he digs through to know what to buy D14.
The pension buyout is almost never a good deal compared to what the pension would pay over time (unless you have serious disease that's going to shorten your life).
The pension buyout is almost never a good deal compared to what the pension would pay over time (unless you have serious disease that's going to shorten your life).
This pension has a buyout and monthly payments. Both. What he wants of course is to just give me the buyout and he keeps the rest. He offered this early on and I think I ignored it because it was so ridiculous.
You can get the pension QDRO'd - a legal intervention that splits the pension, then he could take his buyout for his half if he wants, you would get yours when you retire as a pension.
I'd double check that - I've never heard of a pension where you get a buyout AND a pension payment. Discuss with your lawyer and if you can, with HR at his work.
You can get the pension QDRO'd - a legal intervention that splits the pension, then he could take his buyout for his half if he wants, you would get yours when you retire as a pension.
Can’t get one or least that’s what HR and the plan administrator says.
The longer he works the more cash he gets because he is overfunded or some bs like that. We met with them back when we were happily planning his early retirement. It’s a sweet pension plan because he also gets cost of living increases. It’s our biggest joint asset and he knows I’m entitled to part of it. I’m sure buried in this property settlement it says I waive all rights to it. I don’t.
Do you think I eventually be happier with him gone given everything I’ve posted here about him? His parents hated each other by the time they retired. The money was fabulous but they were miserable. MIL was an alcoholic and she was just mean. Whined all the time. Never happy. FIL batted his doe eyes feigning total good guy status then tripped MIL (she was using a walker) when he thought no one was looking. He was a total pain and very selfish. My parents drank, gambled and also hated each other. I’ve had a lot of IC to overcome my demons (much work still to do) but H has done nothing. Both our fathers were racist, homophobic, sexist jerks. Our mothers were miserable and both blamed their husbands. Total martyrs. This was my future wasn’t it?
