Thanks LH you and my sister basically had the same opinion on her behavior. My sister says she thinks she feels like she missed out on her time to be crazy because she was with me and now she wants to live that time again. I agree with what your pointing out not sure I can believe her about anything. And yes I need to stop my controlling behavior. I recognize my faults and am trying to change them. Just finished setting up my first counseling appointment for Monday so hopefully that will help me over time.
Greenman: thanks for the advise. That is the goal to work on those issues. Im trying to keep myself busy but honestly I can't find joy in anything right now. I honestly don't know how to work on my social problems though. I get anxiety easily. I always seem to have nothing to talk about. I have never even understood how to make a friend. I never had any as a kid really just people that had basically been there as an obligation. Kids that my family spent time around. Kids that grew up with me through every grade. I basically lost contact with all of them as we grew into real people and never made any as an adult. So yeah I definitely know I have a serious dependency issue with my wife. I have been fully aware of how unhealthy it is for a little while now. Which obviously makes this all the more harder to lose that only support I have.
I know regardless of how badly I want it to, this won't end easily. I really hope that something good comes out of it for our relationship but I also understand that may not happen. I'm not at a place where I can really even function without that hope yet. I appreciate you guys being here to let me work out some of thoughts in writing.
